You want a deal
I'll do you a deal
For I am the dealer
You see I have contacts in high places
and some very low places
You want a deal
I'll do you a deal
Because I know what you want
Before you know what you want
Supply and demand
That's the name of the game these days
I do research
Business don't mean a thing without research
I've been watching you
How you talk
How you walk
How you shop
How you spend your time
I'm the guy sitting at the back of the bus
At the end of the queue in the supermarket
Lying on the bench in the park
You never notice me
For I am the shadow
But I know you alright
You see I've done my research
Am I right? - You don't recognize me, do you?
You want a deal
I'll do you a deal
Anyway, welcome to my shop
This is where I do my business
You see the sign above the door
'Sole Trader'! - Kind of ironic, don't you think
Well, what's life without a sense of irony and humour?
Just thought I'd point it out
as most people never read the signs
If they did, they wouldn't need me
In fact, a hell of a lot of customers
have no idea just what they're buying in to
They just tumble through the door
expecting a bargain, or a miracle
No bargains in here Mister
You have to pay the full price
As for miracles, that's not really down to me
But if you want a deal
Then I'll do you a deal
First, You have to know what you want
Second, Are you prepared to pay the price?
Third, I don't do refunds
Fourth, All complaints, to the management upstairs
And they don't take shit from no-one
Anyway, here's the deal
You tell me what you want
Probably something like Success, Money, Love, Freedom
You get the picture
Then I decide whether you can afford it
That's where the research comes in
'Cos, if you haven't worked for it
Then you ain't gonna get it
Or you might just get it
But you sure as hell ain't gonna keep it
You want something for nothing
Try the department downstairs
But you may have to wait, they're pretty busy these days
So, you want a deal
I'll do you a deal
And start saving now, if you want
to find out what you're made of
If you make it through the door
Everything is affordable
Nothing is cheap
And I will take a piece of you
I'm not talking body parts here
That's a different line of business entirely
Although, I did see one guy
try to sell his hands for a a pile of cash
Poor bastard couldn't even count his change
So be warned, Be careful with your desires
And don't go cutting anything off
There are no arms deals in this establishment
But if you want a deal
I'll do you a deal
And, by the way
We don't sell gift vouchers
We only deal with first party clients
You can't dream for someone else, sorry ladies
Anyway, that's enough promotion
Let's do some business
You know where to find me
The shop is always open
You want a deal
I'll do you a deal
For I am The Dealer
The Soul Trader
Welcome to your dreams!